::ARCHIVED:: March 10, 2018 @ 6:38pm
One of the first things that came up was this sense of betrayal. And the reference was the novel The Count of Monte Cristo (CMC) and the character Villefort. (And just now as I'm writing this, there's also a sense of time travel-continuously traveling back in time to "fix" things.) It feels like this ties into CMC as well because Edmond (CMC's main character) basically gets a "second chance" to rectify matters with those who have done him wrong.
So, on one hand, there's just this big tumbleweed or spiraling of wishing she could balance things out, but on the other hand, that each of her lives lived have been in that effort.
That aside, there really does feel like so much grace and reserve with her. Her state feels like one who is admiring beauty or who is floating or in awe of all the beauty that there is. She feels like a natural creative. So, even if she didn't sing she would have had or probably even did have other outlets. Painting or working with colors feels like a favorite of hers. It feels like she enjoys a suspended state, so whatever could provide her with that on Earth she sought after it or utilized it and now she enjoys staying there or spending long periods of time in it.
You know what it feels like with her? It feels like the movie What Dreams May Come (WDMC). In the movie, "heaven" is described as your own imagination. So, basically being able to create your own "reality", "there". And it feels like that's where she is now. It feels like she's in her favorite place/state.
There does feel like a bit of denial or at least of not wanting to talk about certain things, particularly with her mental health or the ways in which she was portrayed as unstable. This also reminds me of the WDMC movie, and the wife in the movie who also has mental health issues. So, there are things that she still needs to admit to herself or open her eyes to. BUT the greatest feeling with that is that it doesn't feel that she needs to come back to earth to do so or to learn that lesson. Which is interesting. It feels like she already has the inner power, where she is, to heal or remove herself from that dis-ease.
She feels like Calypso from Odysseus. Very powerful. A bit elusive.